Chemo #2

Monday, 3/25/13  Mary had her second Chemo treatment today.  Three hours in the Pinnacle Oncologist chair.  It wasn't as easy going as the first one.  When the Cytoxan was being administered, she said she was getting a funny taste in her mouth.  As it kept going, her sinuses were getting stuffy, and the nurse told her that was normal, and that she would feel as if she had swallowed ocean water and gotten it up her nose.  YUK!  No real nausea, but just some fuzzyiness in her head and vision.   While we were sitting there, we were still joking and talking.  One thing we noticed were the other patients who were also receiving their Chemo.  There are about 10 patients who are there at the same time.  You never know what types of Cancer people might have, but some were pretty clear.  There were elderly patients and one who was pretty young.  I have just finished reading the book God Never Blinks.  One of the chapters is titled "If we all threw our problems in a pile, and got a look at everyone else's, we'd all fight to get back our own!"  We are really grateful that Mary's Cancer is treatable and that it isn't any worse than it is.  It puts things in perspective pretty quickly when you are watching some of the other patients.
She was kind of exhausted the rest of the day.  Not the kind of tired where she needed to take a nap, but just felt blah.  Besides the obvious of all the toxins/meds they are putting into her body that are making her feel that way, I think a lot of it is mental exhaustion too.  She had felt so good for the last 4-5 days and knew what this week was going to hold, so she was running around trying to get so much done.  She also was thinking a lot about today and how she was going to be feeling, and what she should expect, and wondering if it would be different from last week.  Psyching herself up.  So, when the appointment was over, I think she was just "done".
We will see what tomorrow brings.  She will have the Neulasta shot to boost her white blood cells.  They have been really low, so hopefully this week, the shot will kick in and give her a little boost.  However, we know, if it "kicks" in, she may feel like she actually got kicked.  I guess that is what this whole Chemo thing is all about.  You take the medicine, which makes you feel like crap, because you know that it is what is taking care of the disease inside of you so that eventually you will be free of the disease.

The Light of Day

Today has been a long day.  Lets just say that the new day sheds a different light on things.
Looking in the mirror was tough this morning.  We weren't seeing who we thought we were supposed to be seeing.  It took most of the day, some tears, jokes, laughs, more tears, and finally showers and makeup to get us comfortable in our own "skin".
Mary opened up the mail from the past couple of days and received a few wonderful cards from some very good friends.  I can't tell you how encouraging the written words are!  Rick brought home a beautiful Coach scarf the girls at work gave Mary.  The continuing texts, emails, FB posts, and notes are so much appreciated!  
Tonight we took some fun pictures with our wigs.  Maybe we will feel good enough to post them in "the light of tomorrow".

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Saturday, 3/23/13 We were planning another great day, but there has been an elephant in the room since I've gotten here on Thursday.  We knew Mary's hair was going to be falling out any day.  We've just been waiting.

I went to the gym and then needed to get some groceries for some Sangria Mary needed to make for a wedding shower on Sunday.  I got a text from Rick while I was at the grocery store that it had started.  I was ticked that I wasn't at home when it was happening.  Thank goodness Rick was with her.  He had Mary shave his head last night.  What a wonderful husband and support he has been!
When I got home I saw Mary and she looked fine.  I guess I expected to see her with a bunch of patches of hair missing or something.  Also thought to find her a blubbering mess.  Nope.  Ashley (her daughter) was over, and Mary was in as good a mood as she was when I left that morning, and other than telling me that it had started, she acted like nothing was wrong.  CRAZY!!!  

Well, it continued slowly throughout the afternoon, but we still had a fun, crazy afternoon.  We made Sangria, made a music video, and laughed and danced in the kitchen most of the afternoon.  We had a blast.

After dinner, when Ashley left and Rick went to bed, we got down to business.  It was time.  I went first.  It was much easier for me because I know my hair is going to be growing back soon and I am doing it on my own terms.  Cutting my pony tail off really was like cutting off a horses tail!

Then it was Mary's turn.  This one took a glass of wine and a shot of tequila.  It can't be easy when you know you are doing it just because the stupid Cancer is making you do it and you don't know when it is going to grow back.  I was hoping that, by my going first, it would have made it easier for her.  I don't think anything could make this easy for her!  It just plain sucks for her.  But, we got it done.  She had a couple wine breaks, and we were done.  She has a beautiful oval head with no "divits" in it. :)  

We saved our pony tails in a baggie just like our mom did when she gave us our first hair cuts when we were little girls.

My hair will grow back quick.  Mary has a long road ahead.  But I am so excited to see how that beautiful head of blonde hair is going to grow back.  Will it be thick?  Will it be curly?  Will it be straight? 

We are one day closer to her hair growing back.

Good Days

3/21/13 I got into town finally on Thursday afternoon.  Mary was doing great!  We even made it to our favorite place for happy hour with some very good friends.  We had a really fun first day.

3/22/13  Mary and I went and shopped for wigs.  We found (what I think is) the perfect wig for Mary.  It really looks pretty close to what her hair looks like naturally.  Pretty amazing.  It was quite a bit harder for her to pick one out than she thought though.  It was a pretty intense process mentally.  For someone who has never really colored their hair, or changed their hairstyle too much to start putting on all of these different styles and shades of blonde hair on their head to see what looks good was quite a process.  It was easy for me to see what looked right on her, but it was hard for Mary to see which one was the right one for her.  On the way home she said something out of the blue that I thought was pretty interesting.  She said "If God would grant me a gift, I would ask to see myself as other people see me."  I said "Wow, that's pretty deep!"  and we laughed.  But she was making the point that she just couldn't see what I was seeing when she was trying on the wigs and I knew which one was the one and she didn't.  It really made me think, though, that we need to listen to what people (at least our really good friends) are saying to us when they are encouraging us and talking to us.  Because we need to remember that they are seeing us like they see us, not like we see ourselves.  Whether it be good or bad sometimes.

One week down, 15 to go!

Ok so I thought it was time for me to make a post. I am not nearly as articulate as my sister but I will try. She is the writer in the family, I was always the comedian!  Last week was not a fun week, but not unbearable either. I was sitting one day, I will not share with you where, and it hit me, Mary, with both of you or your girl's pregnancies, you were sick for 9 MONTHS 24/7! During that time in my life I was throwing up and nauseated the WHOLE time! So, I decided that if this is what I have for the next 16 weeks of chemo, this is cake!! I CAN DO THIS!!

Last week I was not social at all. It was hard to answer texts/calls, but they were all greatly appreciated! I had two of the worlds best "babysitters". My sister Julie, and my adorably caring husband Rick. Then, at the end of each day, Ashley, my oldest would stop in to check on ole mom. Amber, my youngest who lives in OR, of course was busy texting me constantly with pictures of my sweet grandson! Did I mention he is the greatest and cutest little thing in the world!

So we are at 1 week down. This week is shaping up to be a good week.  I even made it out of the house 2 days in a row for outings!! Scoff if you must, but THIS was a big deal, hahahaha! After speaking to Dr. Kato on Monday, I realized, I am really sick!  He showed me my white blood counts and they are down there! The Neulasta shot they gave me last week had not kicked in yet as of Monday, but he said that is normal and it should be any time. I Guess I really do need to be careful who/what/where, I do and go. A simple cold could send me down a path that would suck! We have become a "clean" home, Howard Hughes would be proud!

So one week down, 15 to go, and it seems that the week of chemo is my down week, and then the week after I have strength, and feel good. That is still better than pregnancy!!

P.S. I loved all the name ideas you sick crazy people had! This is why we are friends!!! ;o)

Love, and missing my hugs from you all, Mary

End of Week #1

Well, I'm back at home so I had to check in with Mary yesterday afternoon and today by phone.    Yesterday (Friday), the Aleve did take the edge off the body aches after a while.  Her and Rick actually went out and took a walk half way down the block and back during the afternoon which I think did her alot of good.
This morning when I checked in, she was doing pretty good.  She is learning to be in tune with her body as far as what she is eating/drinking and when she needs to eat and drink so she doesn't get nauseous from having an empty stomach or drinking or eating something that wasn't good for her.  She's still feeling some body aches but trying to stay on top of the Aleve meds to take care of that.
It's crazy, because in the middle of the week when we thought things would be the worst for her, it wasn't too bad.  Those were the days that we stayed around the house kind of waiting for something to happen or to see how she was going to be that day. Like we were waiting for the "other shoe to drop".   I think it's going to be a process to learn what her patterns are going to be (if there are such things) so she still feels like she can be out and about a little bit when she feels up to it.
Hoping next week, her "down week" will be a better week for her.  She will have just one Doctor appointment to check her labs, but hopefully won't have to take any meds.  
I'll be doing another update in a couple of days.  I know Mary would like to write, talk, or text all of you personally, but she has so many wonderful friends that are checking in, this seems to be a great way to get updates out to everyone right now.

Chemo Week #1

Monday, March 11, 2013
First Chemo Treatment.  She will have these at the Oncologist's office.  It's a large, bright, sunny room in a wonderful Doctor's office where all the office staff, nurses, and Doctors treat you like family and they've known you for years.  But....then there are the chairs and the IV poles.  It all got real this morning for her.  She said when they put the first IV in, it felt like someone punched her in the gut.  Her Chemo drugs are Cytoxin and Adriamycin (the Red Devil).  She arrived at 8:30am and was done at 11:30am.  Other than being mentally exhausted, she felt fine on Monday.  She and Rick had a good day on Monday.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
I got in to Phoenix early this morning.  Rick picked me up and when we got to the house, it was soooo good to see Mary.  She was a bit hyped up from the steroid she is taking.  We got ready to go back to the Oncologist office today for Mary to get her shot of Neulasta which will help boost her white blood cell count.  It was a pretty quick appointment with one of the nurses, and then Mary took me down the hall to show me where she got her Chemo Treatment.  I totally understand why she felt it got real when she was there and felt like someone punched her in the gut.  It is very overwhelming to be in that room.
When we left, Mary was feeling pretty good so we went and did a couple errands and went out to lunch before going back home.  She was doing really good until about 3:30 and then she started feeling pretty tired.  It was an early night to bed for her, but a restless night.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Another good morning.  We just hung out around the house.  3:30 seems to be the the magic time this week.  She started to feel tired and a little nauseous.   She took some nausea medicine and took a short nap.  She felt better when she woke up but still tired.  She is trying to push through the tiredness.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Good morning.  No meds today.  Hoping that means this is the start of her feeling better for the rest of this week and next.  She is a little tired this afternoon.  Trying to make sure she eats every few hours and that seems to help with her nausea.
Well, most of the day was good.  However, at about 6:00 she started getting an aching feeling in her neck and started feeling pretty tired.  Headed to bed early around 7:30 tonight.
Friday, March 15, 2013
She woke up early this morning with her upper body aching pretty bad.  Took an Aleve, Claritin, and anti-nausea med to hopefully get her to feeling better.  
I'm leaving to head back home for a few days, so hoping she will be feeling better while I am gone.  Thankful Rick is so good at taking care of her too!

Day Before #1

Sunday, March 10, 2013  I got home from Mexico and called Mary to see how she was handling everything.  She and Rick were hanging out at home, and Mary was doing her best to de-stress and relax.  For those of you who know Mary, you know that involved some wine!  She was in good spirits and ready for Monday, but very anxious.  I know my sister can beat this, but the one thing that is going to be the toughest for her that we talked about is losing her hair.  That will be, by far, the worst side effect for Mary to go through and it will just plain suck!  We will get her through it though, and find ways to laugh and have fun doing it.

Diagnosis

January 30, 2013
Mary received a call from her OB-Gyn, Dr. JulieAnn Heathcott that the results from her Annual Mammogram and the follow-up biopsy that they asked she have done came back positive for cancer.
The "C" word.  Yeah, it's only Breast Cancer and so many women have had it and fought it, but when you hear that you have it, it's pretty overwhelming and devastating.
She was referred to her Breast Surgeon, Dr Linda Liu.
February 6, 2013
Visit with Dr. Liu.  She went over the mammogram x-rays with Rick, Mary, and me.  At that point she told us that the tumor itself was a Her2positive tumor.  She said that the type of tumor it is, is the best and easiest type to treat.  Everything we heard about the tumor was very positive.  There was a lymph node showing on the x-ray that looked very suspicious and when they did the biopsy, it came back clean.  However, because of the looks of it, Dr. Liu suspected they missed the node when they did the biopsy so she ordered a MRI.  She also had Mary do a BRCA test which is a test to see if she has the breast cancer gene.
February 15, 2013  This week she received the results of the BRCA test which came back negative.  The MRI that was to re-look at the lymph node came back inconclusive.
The assumed treatment plan at this point would be, surgery (a lumpectomy) with a sentinal node biopsy, radiation, and chemo being a possibility depending on what they find with the node biopsy during surgery.
February 25, 2013  Mary and Rick met with the Radiation Oncologist, Dr, Luci Chen, to go over her Radiation options.  They were 1 per day for a week or 5 a week for 6 weeks.  This would be after surgery.
February 25, 2013  Dr. Liu's assistant called to schedule surgery.  Surgery scheduled for March 22nd. Mary told her that Dr. Liu wanted them to meet with the Oncologist before scheduling surgery.
February 28, 2013  Mary and Rick met with Dr. Gerry Kato, Oncologist.  They were told that surgery would not be scheduled.  Mary would be having Chemo first due to the fact that the lymph node was definitely cancerous.

Week of March 3rd  PET Scan (came back clear), Port put in (she feels like there is an alien in her body), Chemo Class (she felt it was a waste of time).