Since my chemo and two surgeries it has been a game of trying figure out how to live with, and adjust to, different side effects that happen to you from chemo, surgery, and now radiation. I am going to share with you some of the ones that have happened to me. Please note that I am not complaining. I am just letting you into my world and into the journey a lot of cancer patients have to go through and some of them they never talk about. My only hope in letting you all know this is so that the next time your loved one or friends have been "chosen" to join this club, you will be aware of some of the other struggles they may have, and depending on the individual, may not even tell you about.
Through chemo I, of course, lost my hair, and was very nauseated. Those are the ones that everyone associates with chemo. I also suffered with a horrible case of acid re-flux on steroids. It was strong! Chemo messes up your GI tract really bad. There were days it was hard to get a deep breath and any movement caused great pain. One day I went into chemo after being up all night in pain (yes I really am that stubborn) thinking that they'd be putting me into an ambulance and out to the hospital. My nurse Sherry, helped with calming me to let me know I was going to be ok and what was going on. She also had my doctor come make sure it was acid re-flux. I started eating Tums like candy and within 30 minutes I was getting relief. I also lost half of my finger nails on both thumbs and one finger. The other started to recede but didn't come off. Yep, another side effect! I am still working through the a lot of joint pain, and I have neuropathy in my hands and feet. Some days it is hard to wear shoes, let alone a sock and shoe. Barefoot, flip-flops, and slippers have become my best friends.
After chemo I had two surgeries. The first one was to remove the lump/mass, to take a few of the lymph nodes that were cancerous, and reconstruction of the breasts. It was about 3 days after my first surgery that I got a call from my breast surgeon telling me that the pathology report came back showing 4 of the nodes they took out showed cancer and they would have to go back in and do a sentinel node dissection. This was when for the first time I realized I had cancer and I was scared! Everything had moved so fast from the time I was diagnosed that my head hadn't took time to process it all. I am blonde, and at that time bald with chemo brain (a real thing!) So it took me longer!
The second surgery bought about a whole new set of challenges. I developed lymphatic cording and lymphedema due to the removal of my lymph nodes. I started going to physical therapy (specializing in lymphedema and cording) 3 times a week. We had to push the start of radiation due to the fact I could not get my arm above my head and into the arm cuffs. I have been doing this therapy at least twice a week now and all through radiation. There has been some great progress due to these great therapists I see.
Radiation began Sept 9, I went everyday, 5 days a week, for 33 treatments, and my last day was Oct. 24. Radiation is a nasty little creature because you really don't know that anything is really happening. Then 4-5 days into it (most people 2 weeks), BAM! you can get a really red "sunburn". Kind of like when you go to the beach and think you have enough sunscreen on, and then you get back to the hotel room and look like Louie the Lobster!! Yep, that is what happened. Then the little blisters pop up their little heads to say hi. Only I thought they were little pimples! It was very painful, and for me the mental was harder than the chemo.
At the three week mark, into my almost 7 weeks of radiation, my right breast was a lovely shade of candy apple red, and some spots so burned, they went to a deep purple color. The burns stretch under my arm and went clear through to my back and shoulder. The heat radiates from the inside out, and that can be a tad painful. During this time I had to have a follow up visit with my plastic surgeon, and she immediately gave me a really good burn cream! By the time my last week rolled around, I had a nice tan but no longer suffering from the red hot burn. I am now done with radiation, and Nov. the 4th I will be meeting with my Oncologist to see what my next step in this journey is.
I am starting to feel stronger and trying to build my endurance and physical strength back up. It is a slow and sometimes frustrating process, but pushing on I will always do. So bring on the next step!!!
Once again I can not thank all of you for taking a moment to read this blog, for sending all your love and encouragement in each of your own special ways, and for helping with medical bills by donating money (my SWA family IS AWESOME!!). I will tell you that having cancer has turned out to be an incredible blessing in my life.....you say WHAT???? Well, God has brought so many great people into my life that I would never have known if I didn't have to travel this road! I have made some incredible new friends, and old friendships have become even closer....I AM A BLESSED LADY, and because of my Lord and your support and love, I push on!!!
I love you all,
Mary, Mary Ann, Marr, Marr Marr, Marr Bear.......I love all my little nicknames!!!
